weirdest. date. ever.

So, last night I went out with Soul Patch. I didn't inform the readers (or Alejandro) because I was:

a. embarrassed to be going on two dates in a row
b. was feeling rather cursed

We had made plans to hang out on Thursday a couple days ago, but then I had the spontaneous no-good very bad date with Face, so I was planning on cancelling. However, I woke-up feeling refreshed and thought, fuck it, I have to see this guy through.

He took me to Little Italy. We walked around. He bought me a really nice dinner, and oodles of pastries. We sat outside at a picnic table and talked for a long time. I liked his sense of humor. He made me a laugh. A lot. We decided the soul patch is really just a hitler moustache in disguise. We talked about books and hating hipsters. I told him I "write about my dating life" (if he's smart, he'll figure out that I blog), and that I call him Soul Patch. He loved that.

The problem (and boy is it a problem): Soul Patch and I are exact opposites, and not in a good way. He owns businesses. I own cats. He is deathly allergic to cats; therefore, he doesn't like cats. Um, cats are awesome. He is this huge water snob that only drinks bottled water. I ordered tap, and he almost threw up, as I proceeded to drink as much tap water as possible--just to irritate him. He is a youth group leader in his church. I don't believe in god. He voted for McCain. Me: Obama. He drives everywhere. I take the T. He hasn't cooked a meal in three years. I cook almost everyday. He doesn't drink. I drink almost everyday. He doesn't eat chocolate, caffeine, red meat, or anything fun at all. I eat all of the above, and then some. Whenever I pointed out our differences--which I did about every 6.9 minutes--he reminded me of Paula Abdul's hit, "Opposites Attract." He's weird. Very weird. Pretentious (re: water) and possibly a total jerk. It was hard to tell. Weirdest. Date. Ever.

I always take it as a bad sign if the guy doesn't offer to drive me home, so maybe he didn't have as much fun as I did. However, he seemed to like me, so who knows! It will absolutely not go beyond another date or two, but if he asks me out again, I may go.

Whilst on my date with Patchy, Tiger called to make plans. I'm seeing him for dinner and DRINKS next Wed. or Thursday, thus ending the dating bracket. I was hoping to go on dates with all four in a week, just to see if I could do it, but he can't until next week. Three down. One to go...