awkward

Alrighty, so I shouldn't be so nervous about these things. It does not help.

Went out with The Face. He's extremely good-looking, but in this kinda wonky way. I saw him and got all excited. But, before you get your hopes up, I'll tell you right now, reader, it is not gonna happen. Here's why...

He was incredibly late (which isn't the end of the world, but coupled with everything else, bothered me). There were lots of awkward silences. Lots. He talked about ex-girlfriends and marriage/weddings a lot, so then I talked about ex-boyfriends and marriage/weddings a lot, leading to more awkwardness. I would talk about funny things (like my parents) and he didn't laugh. He's the musician type, and that's kinda all he wanted to talk about (reminding me of a particularly bad ex of mine). He travels all the time for "gigs," which 23 year old Lola would love, but 27 year old Lola finds annoying. He looked bored, leading me to get more and more nervous and ramble. He ordered food and didn't ask me if I was going to order anything. I talked about weird stuff. He was confident and smelled incredibly good, but didn't ask about my cats.

The date lasted less than Bean's date. The real kicker is that I would have stayed out later, just to see if maybe the awkward nerve stuff subsided, leading to awesomeness. But he def. wasn't interested, and when we parted, he was clearly anxious to get the fuck away from me. I think I was the Bean in the situation. I'm cool with it, because I don't want to see him again. But, regardless, that little bit of rejection isn't good for the self confidence, which has been wavering anyway.

Alejandro was wonderful, coaxing me through from a pre-date phone call and frantic texts from the bathroom. My other best male friend, I shall call him Dr. X, was also a doll via text from Chicago.

On my way home, I decided to give up on the Bracket. It is cursed. But, after a good night's sleep and some Buffy, I decided I do kinda want to give Patchy a try. He's hilarious and once he finally stopped being flaky about contacting me, it has been good. We talked, briefly, on the phone. I learned that he's had the soul-patch since high school. I told him the soul patch makes me nervous, and then quickly ended the conversation.

I've started this bracket, and I'm gonna finish it!

I have a headache today. I think its from all the talk about music...