The State of the Alejandro

Yes blog friends, I have been away. You might think it was because I was in Denver, celebrating the birthday of a dear friend (and esteemed reader of this blog). You might think it was because I'm still reeling from the bizarre, Eyes Wide Shut experience of meeting Midget Fonda. You might even think it had to do with the 7000+ students that I tutor (all of whom are taking the October SAT), or because I'm allegedly writing a dissertation/book/novel/collection of haikus. Or maybe it's because my Monopoly dream came true and I won second prize in a beauty contest - and collected ten dollars.

Well friends, in fact some of these things are true. I have been busy with what the ancient Greeks called "life." But, out of concern for your ability to waste time reading blogs while getting paid by "The Man," I have also been putting in intense labor to find NEW dates for Alejandro. Yes, I have been flogging OkCupid (which significantly raised my "kinkier/less kinky" rating) for new ladies with whom to have awkward/awesome dates.

And what has this flogging created, besides a touch of tennis elbow? Two leads. Yes, two. But I am sanguine about both of them, as one seems to share my goofy, lackadaisical attitude towards what the ancient Greeks called "life," and the other shares my taste in crappy television. Since I haven't met them yet, I don't have obvious nicknames for them...but since there are two, let's call the first one Cagney and the second one Lacey.

Cagney and I are already into the "let's go on a date" phase of online conversation, and it's just a matter of picking a neighborhood, a bar, and a time. The risk with her is I haven't actually seen a picture yet. I know, it means there's a reasonable possibility of murder or whatever, but I really liked her profile. And if she's not cute, she's probably still more attractive than the Penguin.

Lacey I have seen pictures of, and she's a cutie. In my most recent message with her, I dropped the "let's go out for drinks or dinner" bomb. Let's hope it explodes in a positive way.

So that's the state of the Alejandro, at least in its broad outlines. There are a few other feelers out there, plus some lingering things from the past, but at the moment all eyes are focused on Cagney and Lacey. Tyne Daly would be pleased.

THE RAM

As an Aries, I possess the following oft-negative characteristics of stubbornness, detrimentally strong emotions, impatience, and a wily aggressiveness. As an Aries, I love to be the chaser, not the chased. For the most part, I have been the pursuer of love. I approach. I call. I ask him out on a date. I am very comfortable in this role. This, for the most part, has worked splendidly. And, then, when I am chased by a man it makes for a nice change and I feel pretty. With my last boyfriend, he was very straightforward. I asked him out (clearly). But, when the date went well, he, promptly, called me and asked me out again. That was nice.

As of late, I have been fighting my natural instincts. Be patient, I tell myself. If he doesn't call you right away, that doesn't mean anything. Particularly in the world of on-line dating. Don't be overly aggressive and scare potential awesome dudes away. I've had a strict, "they come to me" attitude in the on-line dating world. I make them do the fucking winking or emailing or high-fiving or whatever. Then, after we chat a bit, I give my number, but wait for him to call. Well, dear readers, The Ram is getting tired of waiting.

In an age of endless communication, how do you communicate? For example, Soul Patch and I have been writing and texting. After my bad phone call with Bean, I am hesitant to call. Soul Patch asked me to hang out (via text) on Sunday. I gave him dates and times. Didn't hear back. So, last night, I texted him again (something coy, but also along the lines of wtf), and haven't heard back. Patchy, I'm not playing that game. I haven't even met the guy, so it is not worth my time to wait around for him to communicate.

I'm getting tired of waiting, guessing. Maybe I'll just have to go back to my natural inclination as an Aries. Be the aggressor. Be the chaser. Hunt.

I Have Got No Service in the Club, Part 2

I am not excelling at this on-line dating thing. At first, I was super popular, lots of traffic, a phone number or two, asked on a date or two. However, things are slowing down.
I believe there is so sort of cruel on-line dating karma that has, as a result of my hesitance, slowed down the traffic to my profile

For example, this one dude asked me out. We've been writing back and forth, so it seemed like the logical next step. Nothing weird about it. This is, afterall, a meat-market. But, I feel like I don't want to go out with him now for silly reasons. For one, he lifts weights, and that irritates me. His name is weird. I also feel like I don't know him well enough to go out with him; however, isn't that the point?

Another guy gave me his number and told him to call, but I have not. Pussy.