First date: Cagney

Sunday night, Alejandro had a date with Cagney – and on the whole, I would say it went well. We met up for drinks at a bar in her neighborhood. It wasn’t too busy, it being a Sunday night, so we had an attentive waitress and almost an entire section to ourselves. After some good conversation, featuring only a few awkward pauses, I walked her back to her apartment and said the standard “I had a great time, I’d like to see you again” blah blah blah. Being the cad that I am, I of course went in for the smooch – but I got cheeked. CHEEKED! BAM! Well played, Cagney.

All told, we spent about two hours together, and on the whole I had a good time. However, Alejandro was not feeling any serious chemistry. She’s nice, she’s intelligent, she’s witty, and these are all important factors. Indeed, further items in the “pro” column include our shared love of Britney Spears and The Hills. Yet there are serious negatives as well, mainly that she’s not on the Christian/Catholic spectrum (which is important for Alejandro) and she’s a vegetarian. And anyone who has heard Alejandro extol the sublimity of bacon or the joys and travails of making pulled pork at home knows that vegetarianism, though not a deal-breaker, is at least a red flag.

I did, in the end, make it home in time for Mad Men, if barely. Did I cut the date a little short to make it home in town? Possibly. Not because it was crashing and burning, mind you, but because first dates are tricky. Chemistry isn’t always obvious on a first date – sometimes it is only there as a kernel. And in that situation, if the two spend too much time together, then it can erase some of the mystery and excitement of what might happen in a second date. Some relationships might be on fire from the get go, but others need to be stoked and encouraged a little more slowly. And a little more than an hour and a half in, I knew that this risk was real.

So then the question remains: will I in fact see Cagney again? I don’t know. I clearly indicated I would be interested in doing so while simultaneously mentioning that my schedule for the next two weeks would be crazy busy. And indeed, she seemed receptive to the idea of seeing me again, despite the blatant cheeking. So it’s a possibility.

But then again, this Thursday, I have a date with Lacey. That date is at one of Alejandro’s most favorite bars, which means there will be some major mojo in play. And moreover, I was definitely a little more interested in Lacey than in Cagney during our “intimate messaging” phases, so I am sanguine about the possibilities.

the penguin

So the first date from okcupid was last night. You might think, based on my blogging late Saturday morning that it went well. Perhaps we went out for drinks, maybe dessert, took a long stroll through scenic Boston, and then happened upon my apartment, or perhaps even hers. Maybe one of us invited the other inside for a nightcap, and with all our roommates conveniently out of the apartment, we sat on the couch, talked, and slowly inched closer to one another. Perhaps our animal instincts overwhelmed us, and we made out furiously, moved to the bedroom, and did that thing adults sometimes do.

You might think that. It makes sense. This blog is about being In Search of Awesome, and the above scenario does indeed sound awesome.

What actually happened, however, diverges from the scenario above precisely after the "we went out for drinks" part. We did in fact get drinks at a bar that was mutually convenient to both of us and had a fine beer selection. Thankfully, her posted photos online were accurate enough that I was able to pick her out of the crowd waiting outside, yet they were still very complimentary photos. She was not attractive. Obviously, this is a risk with online dating, indeed dating in general, but it need not be the marker of an unpleasant night. I have had plenty of fun with unattractive people in my life, and I hoped this would be an exception.

Sidebar: have you ever seen the movie Shallow Hal? With Jack Black? I don't ask because it's a good movie and I think you should watch it - both those claims are false. But the premise is that Jack Black's character, the titular Hal, is cursed (blessed?) by Tony Robbins to see people as who they are inside, not what they look like outside. He ends up dating an enormous woman who is a fantastic human being because he's not blinded by his titular shallowness.

The girl from last night, had she been in that movie, would have looked exactly the same regardless of the curse. She was a cold fish, negative, in no way funny, judgmental, and all around unpleasant. By the time I had received my beer from the always courteous waitstaff, I wanted to leave. Sadly, I had a full hour left to go. She had a tongue ring, which 24 year old me would have giggled over, but 29 year old me has (largely) moved past.

Sidebar 2: Have you ever seen Batman Returns? It was the second Tim Burton Batman film, which I think underrated. For villains, it features Michelle Pfeiffer as Catwoman and Danny DeVito as the Penguin. Last night's girl was basically the lovechild of the Penguin, both body and soul.

The only real solace from last night was the afterparty, with friends (including dearest Lola), and the satisfaction that her night went better.

first. date.

First date tonight! Of the handful of women I have been messaging on the interwebs about the possibilities of snuggling, one of them has decided it is a great idea to meet me in real life. We're meeting up for drinks at a bar nearish Fenway tonight.

I am a mix of emotions about this. One, I am not super into her. She's the one I talked to on the phone for a little bit last week, and it was ok. It was good enough that I'm open to meeting her in person, but still, I'm not convinced. Also, I have general first date nerves. I talked to a friend last night about wardrobe, and I'll be going with a simple pair of jeans and button down shirt, probably of a different shade of blue (allegedly this brings out my eyes).

Blerg