Pay Attention

Alright ladies of OkCupid, if you decide to message me based on my profile, here are some pointers.

(1) As the title of this blog indicates, both Lola and I are searching for someone awesome. This is largely because we are, ourselves, awesome. Thus maybe, when you contact one of us, you should not open your email with the line "i dont think your as awesome as i am !" Setting aside the (at least) five spelling/grammatical errors in this sentence, you sound like a douche. Also, by down-playing my (obvious) awesomeness, you make me wonder why you are contacting me at all.

(2) If, despite the above advice, you do decide to open with that line, do not follow it up with "lol". I can understand the obvious temptation - you have started with a jibe, and you want me to know that you're kidding. Yet, if you really did like my profile, you might have discovered that under the heading "The most private thing I'm willing to admit" I wrote "If you excessively use "lol", I will probably stop talking to you (I will definitely judge you)." Yes, I wrote excessively, so you can probably get away with a single "lol." But why push it? Why?

(3) Wrapping it all up with "hey im stephanie your very handsome" is a solid move. I am very handsome. Your continued rejection of the apostrophe is troubling, but at least you have recognized hotness when it is staring you in the (virtual) face.

I hope these few pointers will be helpful in your future attempts to "intimate message" me on OkCupid.